Lap of Love -- It Takes A Village, Part 4

"Veterinary hospice is not about living longer, but about living better during the end."

Dr. Mary Gardner

(Co-Founder of Lap of Love Veterinary Hospice and In-Home Euthanasia, Inc.) 

A cold front moved in yesterday. Happy that it was no longer too hot for her, Maizey spent the afternoon in the yard with John and Buddy. 

“Come look at your dog,” motioned John through the open window. 


My dog? She’s only my dog when she’s being bad. I grabbed my camera to check things out. Cancer-stricken Maizey, who is supposedly hobbled by a painful shoulder, decided to dig a 2 dog-sized hole which provided the perfect hunting ground for snakies, aka lizards. At her last visit Dr. Katie prescribed a bland diet of chicken and kibble to keep Maizey's itching at bay.  Today that same dog had a lunch of dirt, worms and the tail a real snake (which she promptly threw up). This meal, convinced John, once and for all, that the renowned trainer who once said Maizey could never survive in the wild was wrong. 

John wants me to watch videos of what it could look like when Maizey begins to decline.  I don’t want to. I’d much rather watch that goofy dog's inner puppy play.  Which brings me to one of the most important parts of our Maizey support system -- our village.

After carefully examining all his options, John decided in home hospice and palliative care were the best ways to treat Maizey’s cancer.

"Founded in 2009 by Dr. Dani McVety and Dr. Mary Gardner, Lap of Love Veterinary Hospice and In Home Euthanasia is a network of veterinarians around the country whose goal is to empower every owner to care for their geriatric pets. Our philosophy centers around the human-animal bond and the need for that bond to be as undisturbed as possible during this most difficult time." lapoflove.com  

I'm a firm believer in hospice care for humans.  Hospice doctors, nurses, and caregivers have made my experiences nothing but positive. Still we* had no idea what to expect when we made an appointment for a hospice consultation. All we knew about Jacksonville’s Lap of Love came from the calm voice on the other end of the phone. A voice that assured me when I started crying, I'd called the right place. I don’t think I’m talking out of turn by saying that I’m easily swayed by kind words. John, on the other hand, is more of a I’ll-believe-it-when-I-see-it kind of guy. For obvious reasons, both of us were a tad anxious until the doctor arrived.

"Lap of Love is honored to have some of the most compassionate and empathetic vets working with us." lapoflove.com

A petite woman with a head full of riotous curls corralled in a Scrunchie, Dr. Katelyn "Katie" Stender walked in the back door like an old friend coming for coffee. Before she could even put her old-fashioned medical bag on the kitchen table she was greeted by two barking dogs galloping towards her.  What may look and feel like a stampede of wild buffalo is actually a game to see who can say hello first.  It can be somewhat intimidating and doesn’t say much for the amount of time and money spent on training.  Dr. Katie didn’t blink an eye. She dropped to the floor with her arms open to embrace both Maizey and Buddy. She traded stiff how-do-you-dos and handshakes for undignified sniffs and slobbery kisses. She gave no hint of the sad reason she was here. No, "oh poor Maizey." Her enthusiastic greeting was more like finally meeting a long lost relative, "Maizey, it's so good to see you." 

Any fears we might have had faded. The dogs quickly lost interest in the visitor for most of the consultation, but Dr.Katie cheerfully remained on the un-mopped kitchen floor. White dog hairs and un-defined crumbs attached themselves to her black leggings already baptized with Buddy slime.

After the initial greeting, Maizey decided to be coy. She circled through the den and kitchen to make sure Dr. Katie was still interested in her, but didn’t care much for being examined. With the skill of someone who has done it a thousand times, Dr. Katie slipped on her stethoscope, listened to Maizey’s heart and lungs, palpated Maizey’s cancerous shoulder and never missed a word John said. All this with jealous Buddy wanting his fair share of attention. As well as being a multi-tasker, Dr. Katie is smart, compassionate, present, inquisitive, and wears comfortable shoes festooned with little cat faces. The mom of two cats and a dog, this is a woman who takes her work seriously. 

It must be really hard to spend your days euthanizing beloved pets. So I had to ask, how does someone get into this line of work?

Dr. Katie gave up the idea of being a human doctor in her junior year at the University of FL and graduated with a degree in health science and public health. When a good friend suggested that she become a veterinarian, Dr. Katie went back to school to do just that. As a small town vet, she treated dogs, cats, and even a raccoon or two.

Dr. Katie’s first in-home euthanasia was for her mother-in-law’s kitty. When a friend asked if she’d do the same for her dog, Dr. Katie readily agreed. After determining the time was right, the three strolled outside to a beautiful, stress-free environment. Under a tree with the sun setting in the background was the perfect place to say a final farewell.  In that moment Dr. Katie knew this was what she was “meant to do.”  

Not long after that discovery, Dr. Katie started Jacksonville's Lap of Love. Along with her Lap of Love co-workers, Dr. Katie works in harmony with other area veterinarians. Although 95% of her appointments are euthanasias, Dr. Katie does not find the work draining. "Being able to share such a sacred moment with families as they said goodbye to their dearest companion is, simply, an honor." Dr. Katie especially loves getting a call after a difficult time to come meet a family’s new puppy or kitten. 

Call me nosy, but I had to know about that leather bag. I figured from the looks of its scarred leather the bag was a family heirloom — passed down, perhaps, through generations of family doctors. Nope. Dr. Katie gifted it to herself upon graduation from veterinary school. In only five years that bag has traveled across the state of Florida, into and out of the homes of grieving pet owners and taken on a patina of warm maple syrup. But Dr. Katie doesn't focus on the bag's weathered exterior.  Instead, as with a sick or aging patient, she treasures the gift it represents. Life worn smooth by love. 

I don’t know what it might have been like if John had opted for amputation and chemotherapy. Sure, we would have made it work. But I’m glad we didn't have to. I'm glad he chose Lap of Love. We haven't gotten to the hard part yet, but I have no doubt Maizey will be in good hands when the time comes to say goodbye. And those angel wings Dr. Katie talks about? I'm pretty sure the Divine Veterinarian in the sky sent Dr. Katie to earth with her very own set of wings. 

* I use the plural pronoun because even though John has the final say in all things Maizey, I'm copilot and navigator on this trip.

P.S. Shameless Public Service Announcement:
Lap of Love can be found in 30 states across the country. I can't say enough about this organization. I hope it never does, but if the need should ever occur that you need their services you can check them out here.